"... It's No Longer Inside Of Me, Threatening The Life It Belongs To ..."

broken clocks & twisted thoughts.

it's nights like tonight that make me pray for it all to stop.
let time freeze and infinity become ... finite.
let my heart stop racing and my head stop pounding.
... or is it the other way around?
allow my tortured, captive soul to break free, escape.
watch it soar to the heavens, only to come crashing back to earth.
maybe hell will open up and take me in as i writhe on the floor.
even hell would be easier than this.
yes, it's nights like tonight that make me wish it were over.

... but is that really what i want? ...

maybe nights like tonight make me wish it had never begun.
that i'd lived one definite lifetime without knowing anything else.
... anything better.
that i'd kept walking blindfolded through those crowded streets.
what if you'd never uncovered my eyes?
would i still be standing here in the middle of the road,
blinded by the glare of a thousand headlights, tail lights, street lamps?

but in this haze one light shines above the rest;
your light outshines them all.

oh, it's nights like tonight ...
that make me smile back on all that i've survived.