"... Melt Your Headaches, Call It Home ..."

I had the most amazing time at the barn today.
It all started because I was fortunate enough to get to go to the barn and ride during my favorite part of the day; when the sun's just starting to set, and the colors in the sky are just turning those brilliant reds and golds? And the whole atmosphere of the barn is just nice and calm and peaceful, and everything seems to almost slow down just before the sun sets ... like time's frozen still for just a little bit.
This time of year that time came about six thirty in the afternoon; I'm so glad it's starting to get dark again earlier. My trainer and one other girl were the only two in the barn, and both seemed in excellent spirits. My trainer suggested that me and the other girl head out to the large pasture behind the barn and ride outside for the evening; take every opportunity to do so before the rains settled in again. At first I rejected; I figured I could practice what I needed to practice better in the arena, where there were less distractions and better footing. But my trainer insisted, and, as we all know, you never argue with the instructor. So I humored him and headed out to the back field, following behind the other girl and her mare.
... As soon as I stepped out into the open pasture, I was humbled, and reminded again that the trainer is always right. What a gorgeous evening for a ride outdoors! The sun had turned the sky - the very air, it seemed! - a gorgeous orange hue, and the wind was unusually strong. I watched with a motherly sense of pride and awe as I lunged Bob outside in the fresh air; watched as his hooves struck neat divots in the green turf, watched as the wind whipped his mane in all crazy directions ... watched him leap into the air, throwing bucks and snorting wildly, just because he could.
When I mounted, I felt a powerful and exciting energy being shared by both Bob and myself. It was new for both of us, riding together in the pasture; I hadn't done it in so long. As I walked Bob around for a little while, letting him breathe and realize the dogs barking in the neighbor's lawn weren't going to eat him after all, I tried to think of the last time I had ridden a horse outside in a field ... and it must have been Smokey, last summer or fall, either at my grandma's house or my own.
When I picked up the slack in my reins and asked for a trot, I was beaming. Our collected trot was magic tonight. I felt Bob's entire front end lighten up, felt him drive from behind and make every stride really count; if only there were mirrors outside in the pasture, like there are hanging on the walls in the arena! I would have loved to see how he looked just then.
I cued for a canter and that was a bit rough. A tad fresh for all the nice crisp air, at first Bob refused to come on the bit and got stiff and tight, like he had on Monday; I feared another unpleasant ride, like my lesson had been. But instead, I used what my trainer had taught me a few days ago and applied it tonight, and, bravo! Bob relaxed and settled into a gorgeous stride. Our hand gallop was beastly, with so much room to run; but then we throttled back, collecting our canter stride without losing speed or drive.
I must have only ridden for a half hour; forty-five minutes tops. But that short time was all I needed to gain so much confidence and so much excitement for my big week to come. When I dropped the reins and let Bob cool out at a loose walk, I felt all the tension and nervous jitters that I didn't even know I'd built up just fade away. I realized, in my own mind, I'd been sort of "all work, no play" in terms of mentally preparing for my biggest show to date.
Looking out over the fields, watching the sun set behind the tall pine trees, peacefully walking along with my boy ...
I guess today I realized that pushing yourself too hard can be just as bad as not pushing hard enough. Sometimes, you have to figure out where you are before you try to get someplace new.

Six days.
This is it. My dream come true.
... I think I'm ready.
I think we're ready. Together.
... I just can't wait.

Top 10 Songs Of The Week

1. When The Day Met The Night - Panic At The Disco
2. Sorrow - Flyleaf
3. Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins
4. Panic Prone - Chevelle
5. I Don't Care - Apocalyptica feat. Adam Gontier
6. Tears Don't Fall - Bullet For My Valentine
7. Starlight - Muse
8. Sweet & Low - Augustana
9. Thunder - Boys Like Girls
10. I Want To Hold Your Hand - Beatles cover by T.V Carpio